Another thing I’ve been doing is procrastinating. GOD’s BLOOD is kind of just sitting around, volume 1 finished and volume 2 started on. Even with a full book finished, I’m kind of just… not publishing it. I’m going to work off the assumption this is just some sort of stage-fright (worried that nobody will purchase it, let alone like it, etc.) and slowly try to push past it. It’s not that I’m doing anything productive: I’m still writing and sketching away in the quiet hours, though mostly it’s nothing that I feel can be of any consequence.

i’m gonna end this here and go do some work. Let’s see what comes of that.

About six years ago now, I went and saw Blue Man Group. This is very important, as that was the first time I’d been to a concert since I was six. Said concert was Sharon, Lois, and Bram, and even then I only remember fucking around on the stands and not really paying attention at all to what was going on (not that I had to). Blue Man Group also marked for me the start of new thing I would do with friends: Actually going to see concerts or shows on a regular basis. Although it wasn’t as often as it is now (the next time I’d see anything would be Dream Theater at the Molson Amphitheatre a year later) it marked in me the realization that going and doing these kinds of things was actually economically plausible for me, something I didn’t think possible (this is actually due to performers like Elton John selling tickets at 300 dollars a seat. I just kind of assumed that every venue was that pricey).

Anyways, Blue Man Group. BMG was playing in Toronto, and a friend of mine and his family had invited me along for their excursion. While this isn’t a review of BMG in any effect, I will simply say that the experience for me was fantastic, and it made me a pretty big fan of the troupe (I also tend to listen to BMG when high. It doesn’t do anything CA-RAZY, but it’s good music to listen to, and even more so when in an inebriated state.)

Something that would later become apparent to me after going to more shows and concerts, and especially something that I used to do myself, was the whole “if there’s a seat i’m just going to sit” approach to concerts that a lot of people have. Like I said, I was one of these people once, a difficult little shit in my own right. At BMG, though, there was a difference to all this: The atmosphere of the place was that you SHOULD sit. Now, I can’t remember the name of the place, whether it was some Sony establishment or a Panasonic Theatre (it was probably that) but the place seemed to be better fit for plays than BMG. Really well-spaced, comfortable chairs with plenty of aisle room, it gave an air of upper class-ness that demanded you keep seated. With BMG, that’s a bit of an issue. BMG is an interactive show, one of the features that has made it so unique and successful, really; the blue men not only perform, but through their antics and music you also become part of the show. At this establishment, however, everyone felt encouraged to keep seated.

This wasn’t simply due to the design of the place, though; because the venue itself was a downtown Toronto building, it drew in a lot of upper-class dates, as well as doctors, businessmen, etc. A lot of people were there in business suits from what I can recall, as well as other formal drab. These people were there to watch BMG, not to dance, not to jump up and down on command, or sing songs with mismatched lyrics in an effort to try and teach people something about the way their brain operates. This people wanted to be entertained without having to be involved, so, at first, everyone was very hesitant of such things. Eventually, though, most people (including myself) were joining in on the ridiculousness of it all, and the need to have fun overcame any idea anybody had of just acting “decent”.

And this is my point. Had this been at the Molson Amphitheatre, or another large concert hall, filled with rockers or teens or stoners or headbangers, there would have been no issue. Everyone would have been gung-ho from the start to get their groove on with the blue men, instead of awkwardly sitting around, seeing who would be the first to be brave enough to actually do what the monitor was saying, or who would be forced to get on stage with the silent performers as they sprayed paint everywhere or used a series of pipes as an instrument.

I’m not entirely sure what my point was with this, when I started writing it. There most certainly isn’t one now. Were I actually GOOD at writing essays like these, I’m sure it would be 20 pages long with actual psychological evidence to back up anything Im even lightly touching on here. I’m sure one day I’ll come back and clean this up, make it something useful, and maybe even do the same to all the half-musings that are plaguing this webspace: a lot of content, but none of it quantitive.

So, I went to Fan Expo again for the first time in two years.

And I had a damn blast.

Four years ago, I started talking on a constant basis to three fellows via Skype: Slegos, BD, and Cap (real names omitted for their sake). As of three years ago, every summer, we all (excluding Cap because he is a poo) have met up at one convention or another and proceeded to ruin the establishment in the only way we know how: Silly voices and retarded laughter. The previous years we had all met up at TFCon (the Transformers Convention held down at the Doubletree Hotel), and although that had served our purposes fantastically prior, we had grown, so our region of madness must grow as well, leading us to take Fan Expo this year as our base camp for adventure, with my roommate in tow, eager to see what this conglomeration of cons might have to offer for him.

Living in downtown Toronto for nearly a week was a blast, to be sure. As our accommodations were last-second, we chose a magnificent 1-star hotel a thirty-minute walk from the Convention Centre, and how amazing it was!
No hot water at all, prostitutes wandering the streets at all times of the night (I was even propositioned by one! Lucky me), sketchy stores everywhere, and the key to get into the room was an ACTUAL KEY. Relaxing on it’s own was an adventure at this place, and it truly felt like being away from home and not just in a fancier (albeit smaller) version of our own apartment. Although I don’t know if we will book at this hotel again next year, I certainly don’t regret staying there.

My roommate gawking at the state of various areas of the room. The longer we stayed here, the more we found wrong with it. At least the tv worked!

No hot water? Check. Drains that don't.... Drain? Check. Cracked floor tiles and mildew smell? Double-check. Every shower and shit was an adventure in and of itself.

The four of us, taking one mug shot before entering the ticket-purchase line up...

...And what a massive line it was! Protip: When in a line like this, hang to the outer side. It moves the fastest (legit).

Just a small, blurry taste of what was going on inside. This is called the "Shepard Shuffle"

I’d throw up more image, but I wasn’t the one who took them so it doesn’t feel right, haha. We’re definitely doing this next year again! Fan Expo is a great time, and I’m looking forward to eventually having my own booth here.

I quit my job.

Yeah.

That’s right.

To be honest with you, I’m pretty surprised in myself, here. I mean, I’d been working at the theatre for five years. Five years! That’s pretty cushy, right? Five years invested in that theatre. But I’ve quit now, and I really couldn’t be happier. Now, no, I don’t have a new job lined up, and I don’t really have anything in the way of saved funds, but I’m doing this for a reason.

This is flight or fight, here. This is me forcing myself into a situation where I either stand up to the occasion or fail miserably, you know?

And so far I’m kind of standing, kind of failing.

I mean, yeah! I totally actually finished cleaning and arranging the crap in my room; when I moved in, I kind of just existed in the room with my stuff. Now the place is actually Feeney-ready! I am sitting down to write for the first time in month, but my job search has not been as in-depth as I’d prefer it to be by this point, and I’m a little strapped for cash already, even with two more pays on the way from my current job before I’m gone from there for good.

But I’m making good headway in other areas! I’m finally sitting down and planning out GOD’s BLOOD Book 2 (even though my proof for Book 1 still hasn’t arrived…) and Bug Catchers is fully written (and the actors mostly cast). I just really need to get my ass in gear to take care of this monetary issue that will soon exist for me. And, just in case I somehow can’t find a new job, I’ve begun signing up again for drug testing! Should be a semi-fun thing to do, and gives me an excuse to go to Toronto on a monthly basis (that excuse being to get MRIs and blood drawn to see if I’m dying or recovering from whatever they give me.)

Won’t be posting again for a bit (although I haven’t been posting often as it is), as I’m focusing on getting stuff on track for now. When I’m back expect some good news regarding Bug Catchers.

While I was at work today, amid threading projectors, helping clean theatres out of boredom, and watching DotM (review soon! I actually have an opinion on this film), I outlined a few of things I had to get done once I got home. They are as follows:

–Get the remaining stuff belonging to my mom into my closet so it’s not in anyone else’s way
–Organize my room so that all furniture is in a space I see fit
–Decide which Transformers figures I was keeping, and throw the other 90% of them out

Confused on the last bit? Then watch the video listed below that I made back in February (rather, listen to it, the video is fucked completely) then continue on with me.

After going through roughly 5 crates of the fucking things, I’ve brought myself down to maybe fifteen or so I want to keep and display, for either reasons of 1) I bought them because I ACTUALLY liked them, and not because they completed a collection I no longer care about, 2) they were gifts and they hold a special place right HERE *fist hits chest* or 3) both of the above. The majority of them are due to option 3.

I’m not really all too sure what to do with the rest of them but I’d like to sell them, obviously. That’s probably not going to work out at all mind you, haha, so instead I’ll probably give them to a 2nd-hand shop or leave them in the apartment lobby for people to take from. A garage sale would ACTUALLY net me some decent cash (re: at least twenty bucks) to spend on food for the day, but I’m not exactly up for just plunking down a few crates of TFs at the cornet of the street for a few hours, so another way to get rid of these has to be found.

Until then, I guess they’ll just be staying in the closet, though. I’ll deal with them when the time comes, but for now, at least I’m content in knowing my days of haphazardly spending money on plastic crack is gone. There are still TFs I want to get, but they are few and far in between, and usually really, really inexpensive. But even then, I don’t buy them. I have enough of them as it is, and the majority of them I don’t even want.